“As a medical doctor, I am in a privileged position, for I am welcomed into the lives of thousands of patients and thus, am able to share in my patient’s greatest joy, such as the birth of their child, or their deepest sorrow, when I hold the hands of a dying patient. From these experiences, I feel that I have learned a thing or two about life, success and the pursuit of happiness.
One of the most important things in life is kindness. We often go through life not knowing how the other live, and so, it is easy to pass judgment, particularly negative ones, on our neighbour based on the way he/she acts, behaves or dresses, when it is not to our liking. I see a spectrum of people in my clinic and I know that many have personal, family, work or mental health struggles that can be hidden behind rude demeanours or even smiles. We often do not know the point of sadness or grief that a person is coming from. Therefore, when you greet all those who cross your path, whether they be outwardly nice or not…if you greet them with kindness and compassion, you can positively change the course of someone else’s life forever. And when our community is divided because of fear, stand NOT with the crowd, but stand out and reach out with kindness and you will receive great kindness in return. Our community will be stronger for it. Kindness is what will open your eyes to the beauty of different cultures, races and religion. And you will see that we are all human, deserving of love, kindness and compassion. Remember this as you yourselves become our leaders of tomorrow.
One of the most important lessons about success is that it is earned. It is earned through grit and determination. Although the definition of success is different for different people, I think you would all agree that success for many is when you have reached your dream. I have, over the years, met many individuals who are bright, talented and academically strong such as yourselves, but many have somehow fallen by the wayside. The reason? They just did not possess the grit and determination to achieve their dream. I knew I wanted to be a medical doctor from a very young age, but I did not get accepted after my first try. It wasn’t until my third attempt that I gained admission. I have a love of writing and dreamt of being a writer, but it wasn’t until I persevered through all the rejection letters that I found publishers who loved my stories enough to sign me on. And if you believe strongly that a wrong has to be righted in society, the only way to accomplish this in confronting the government is through grit and determination. And for those who are unsure of what your goals and dreams may be, your dream will find you as long as you continue working hard in whatever you do. There is no way around it. The road to success is long, as it winds round and round, rises and falls, as it takes you to places that may be out of your comfort zone. Embrace it. Many will turn back when it starts to feel a little uncomfortable, but if you carry on with grit and determination outside your comfort zone, a whole new world of opportunities and possibilities will open up for you and you will find your dream. Every new challenge prepares you for the next greater, bigger thing, and only grit and determination will get you there.
The key lesson in the pursuit of happiness is to remember where you come from and how you got there. It was especially nice reading many of the essays referencing the hardship that your parents had struggled with in coming to Canada. I was moved by these essays because I felt your heart and empathy for others. This will take you far in life. Knowing your roots will keep you grounded and appreciative of what you have and will give you direction for your path in life. This is happiness. Knowing where you come from will help you accept that it is okay to be ordinary. This is happiness. I was the youngest of six children raised by a mother who at one point worked three jobs to bring food to our table. We didn’t have very much growing up in Canada as refugees from the Vietnam war. I wasn’t in piano lessons or sports, and didn’t have many opportunities to travel or camp… so my life was less than extraordinary, but I was happy because I knew where we came from — from war and poverty, and I was grateful for what we had and made the best of what we had. I put my efforts towards things that cost me nothing — my books, my study, my writing, my drawing skills. In so doing, I learned to enjoy the simple things in life. And as I grew older, I knew that you don’t need expensive cars or fancy clothes to be happy. All those things would be a waste of my hard work and time. And when you have achieved your dream, remember how you got there. Very few, if anyone of us, are self-made people. You are where you are because of the people you meet along the way. Everyone you meet along the way will leave an impression upon you and will help shape you into the person that you are. You will know happiness when you learn to appreciate these friends, for when you are grateful for them, you yourself will find happiness when you pay forward their kindness.
There are many life lessons and I could go on. You will find your own path and your own lessons. Hopefully these few thoughts will help guide you as you embark on your path through life, and give you hope and direction when life becomes dark and uncertain at times. In the end, life is short. Be kind and you will know love, work hard and you will find success, know your roots and you will be happy.”
— an excerpt from my speech for the Vietnamese-Canadian Friendship Society’s scholarship ceremony (August 12, 2017). It is dedicated to the students.